She holds her coffee cup and my eyes saying, My friend Alli comes over to pray with me, and she tells me she knows this struggle. When the slightest fall or wrong move could be catastrophic, how will our new normal unfold? And how do I embrace the unfolding when it looks different than I imagined? And to be honest, there are hard things for this mama to accept, too. Losing gymnastics is a hard thing for our active girl to accept, this saying goodbye to a love and a dream. So, we add scary words like neurosurgeon to our vocabulary while taking gymnastics out. “ Thank you, God, for protecting this always-in-motion girl in every tumble and fall.” “ Thank you, God, for using this accident to bring hidden truth to light.” This leaves us numb and jarred into a new reality. That night, we fall asleep clinging to gratitude, Without this extra protection, any jarring of the neck can cause numbness. This bone protrudes from the second vertebrae, and the malformation means part of her spine is not as protected as it should be. So after the ER trip, x-rays and a CT scan, we discover the critical bone -the odontoid – that protects her spinal chord is malformed. But, we don’t mess around with numb and tingley. This proved true the night a gymnastics accident left our girl’s head throbbing and her sobbing scared over being “numb and tingley.” The accident didn’t look scary she didn’t fall awkwardly or in any way that made me suck in wind or jump out of my chair. Heavens, what can unfold in no time at all. “If she’d landed just a bit harder, she’d be in a wheelchair or dead.” Still, I can’t get the doctor’s point blank statement out of my head, Days have passed since the night I heard those life-changing words. I lean against the window and stare into sapphire winter skies. “Our job is not to mold our kids but to unfold them.” Jon Courson
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